In 1989, something amazing happened. Back To The Future 2 hit the cinemas.
Now I may have been too young to appreciate it, being only 2 at the time, but its legacy has never faded in my eyes. It had all the great makings of its predecessor. The madcap Dr Brown. The inimitable Marty McFly. The time travel. The paradoxes. The beautiful Delorean... it was truly a great sequel.
But tiny one aspect of that film shined brighter than the all rest. One thing and one thing only that made children across the world, myself included, point at their screens and let their jaws hang agape. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
The mighty hoverboard.
Where's mine? Hmm? Back To The Future 2 was set in 2015. That's just one year away and yet we haven't even caught a single whiff of a hoverboard on the news. No YouTube clips of leaked lab tests. No Foxconn workers taking selfies with bits of hover-tech, or leaving blueprints in bars.
In short, I'm livid. I've been waiting for a long, long time for the hoverboard that the late 80's and Hollywood promised us.
Trust me, I get Sci-Fi. I get the 80s' slightly skewed vision of how fast technology would erupt into everyday life. I get that science has free reign on the screen. I get it all. But we aren't living in the 80's any more. We've got plenty of sci-fi in our lives now.
Just look at Amazon's forthcoming delivery drones. They're brilliant! I can't wait to see them filling the skies. I'll feel like I'm in Minority Report for sure. However, I can't ride one to the shops. Look at Google Glass. Great! I can follow Twitter by walking about. Well, I can do that now. And what's this about self-driving cars? Amazing! It can park itself, but can it help me escape a robotically-enhanced Biff Tannen and a car of his mechanical mates?
My point is this: where is my hoverboard? Scientists have had twenty-five years to produce a hoverboard. Twenty-five years of watching Marty McFly and thinking "OMG, I must invent that". But no. Drones. Segways. Singing microwaves. Honda robots. Don't get me wrong, I love it as much as the next geek, but I can't help but thinking some priorities need to be shuffled around here. All these scientists seem to be focussing on the wrong stuff, when they should be building us our hoverboards. Right?
So if you're a scientist, and reading this right now, then know this: We're trusting in you, buddy. Don't let us down. You've got until October 21st, 2015. Tick tock.
PS: please get working on the Nikes too..